I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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