would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
