why didn't you poke me back
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize