No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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