I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
