Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
