that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
