So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Vodka?
Forever.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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