Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
