I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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