I hate all girls vehemently.
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
