Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
