Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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