Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize