What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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