happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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