you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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