wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
