and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Randomize
