im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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