Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
