dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
you made out with another girl for some wings
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
