I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Little spoons don't ask big questions
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
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