my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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