On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
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