didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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