he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
