Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
