Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
