on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
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