He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
