he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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