5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize