I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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