I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
do herpes really smell.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
