all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
