We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
