We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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