guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize
