White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Say something about gay babies.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
