does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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