I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
