I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
My ass is underappreciated
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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