Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
