I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
