i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
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