so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
