the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
