Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize
