I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I'm just crazy horny about you
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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