Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
When are your genitals available?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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