How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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