I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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