none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize