Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
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