Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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