Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
