yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
