last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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