Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
