Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
