did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
