Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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