Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Randomize
